


Confronting Your Fears

by addict_writer



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Could Be Canon, Drama, Friendship, HIV/AIDS, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Romance, STD discoveries, Worry, fears, post-513
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-09
Updated: 2020-05-09
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:42:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24090766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/addict_writer/pseuds/addict_writer
Summary: After a distressed phone call from Michael with the most terrifying news, Brian and Justin decide to revisit their rules and lifestyle.
Relationships: Ben Bruckner/Michael Novotny, Brian Kinney/Justin Taylor (Queer as Folk)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 83





	Confronting Your Fears

**Author's Note:**

> Many thanks to predec2 for helping me clear up the mistakes for this to be readable!

What started out like a lazy Friday morning quickly turned into a terrifying nightmare.

Brian was perched in the windowsill of Justin's studio, looking out the window, enjoying his coffee and cigarette. Justin was still asleep. While Brian had brewed coffee, Justin had decided to take what little space of the bed was left, effectively making Brian retreat to his current spot.

The view out the window of Justin's studio in New York wasn’t anything spectacular – just a brownstone situated across the tiny street.

Brian’s phone buzzed on the table, and he hurried to retrieve it before the noise could wake Justin.

“Hey, Mikey!” Brian greeted his old friend as he returned to his spot on the windowsill.

“Can we meet?”

Judging by Michael’s serious voice, Brian realized something bad had happened.

“I’m with Justin this weekend,” Brian explained. “But tell me.”

“Oh, then we’ll catch up when you get back,” Michael mumbled in a shaky voice.

“No! Hey! Tell me,” Brian demanded.

There was a long pause. “I’ve got it.”

“What?” Brian felt a hole being punched into his chest. “I thought you were careful.”

“I don’t know. I don’t… _know_ …”

Brian could hear his friend crying, and he was filled with regret that he couldn’t be there for him in that horrible moment. He’d known there was a possibility that it could happen, ever since Michael had started dating Ben. But he never thought he would be faced with the reality.

“I just… left the doctor’s office.” Michael took a deep breath. “I can’t… I… how am I supposed… what’s Ben going to say?”

“Wait. He’s not with you?” Brian frowned as he stared out the window.

“He has an early class. Besides, this was my six-month test. He had his done a couple of weeks ago.”

“And you called _me_ first?”

“Of course!” Michael took a shuddery breath. “I knew you’d be able to… to make me get a grip on… you’d know what to say.”

“Well, I don’t know what to say, Michael.”

“Anything!” Michael wailed. “You knew this was a possibility. Man up. Stop being pathetic.”

Brian fought an involuntary smile. “Well, for once, I’m at a loss for words.”

There was a brief pause.

“I wish I was there,” Brian finally admitted.

“Don’t you dare! Stay with Justin. You barely see him.”

“Well, he’s no fun at the moment. He can sleep for twelve hours straight if I let him.”

Michael chuckled. “Not all of us can function on three hours of sleep and still be awesome.”

“Why, thank you!” Brian laughed. “Though, I need more these days – five or six.”

“This is what I needed,” Michael said quietly. “Something to take my mind off this.”

“Actually, you don’t need distractions. You have to face reality, Mikey. Tell Ben. After he finishes blaming himself, remind him of how much you need his support and knowledge.” Brian cleared his throat, blinking away the unwanted tears that gathered in his eyes. “And expect me at the store first thing Monday morning.”

“I’m scared,” Michael confessed.

“I believe you, but this is not the end. You hear me? Look at Ben. He’s had it for ten years!”

“Nine, actually.”

“Listen to me. Are you listening?” Brian demanded, lighting himself another cigarette. When Michael hummed in response, he continued. “You’re not going to die. Not tomorrow. Not in the next week. Not in the next fucking month. You’ll die of old age.”

“We have to live up to our promise in high school of retiring to Boca so we can eye-fuck twinks.” Michael laughed, his eyes watery.

“Exactly. So don’t you dare abandon me.”

“You have Justin now. You can take him.”

“And you’ll bring Ben,” Brian said seriously. “Besides, Justin is not a very good candidate for twink watching. He got carded last night when we went to this new club.”

“No way!” Michael snorted in laughter.

“Yeah. I wanted to strangle him. I was addressed as _Sir_ , and he got carded. We live in a cruel world, Mikey.”

“Wait till I tell Ben!”

“Wait till I get back and get my hands on you,” Brian threatened lightly. “So, I’ll see you on Monday,” he continued.

Justin chose that moment to slowly wake up and stretch his naked body, making it difficult for Brian to concentrate on the conversation.

“Yeah. I’ll tell Ben when he gets home. I don’t even know how...but I will.” Michael sounded defeated.

“Just say it. Show him the results. Any way you think is better.”

“NO way is better!” Michael shouted. “This wasn’t supposed to happen!”

Justin smiled lazily at Brian, and Brian walked over to his side, sitting next to him. He pressed a soft kiss to his lips. “I have no idea why you want advice from me. When I was in your shoes, so to speak, I pushed everyone away.” Justin frowned, searching Brian's eyes, worried. Brian shook his head.

“Well, I can’t do it. I don’t even want to do it. I live with Ben. We’re married.”

“Exactly. You’re not me. You know Ben better than anyone. Just think of the best way to break it to him… and do it.”

“I’ll see.”

There was a brief pause, in which Brian took Justin's hand, squeezing it.

“How am I going to tell Ma?” Michael asked suddenly.

“I’ll come with you on Monday.”

“Really? Thank you so much!”

“Anytime.” Brian wasn’t ready to end the conversation, but it was clear he couldn’t help Michael any more over the phone.

“I’ll let you go now. Tell Justin I said hi,” Michael said.

“Can I tell him?”

“I just told you... Oh! I guess. Everyone will find out eventually.”

“If you don’t want others to know just yet, I won’t tell Justin. Or anyone, for that matter,” Brian promised.

“No, tell him. Thank you, Brian.”

“You know I’m here whenever you need me.”

“Love you,” Michael whispered.

“Always.”

“Who was that?” asked Justin warily. He propped himself up on an elbow.

“Michael.” Brian stubbed the burned-out ciggie in the ashtray on the nightstand. He faced Justin, taking in his curious and worried eyes. “He’s positive.” Saying the word aloud made the reality a living nightmare.

“Oh, God!” Justin sat up, staring at Brian with wide eyes. “Holy shit! Did they ditch the condoms?”

“No way. They wouldn’t be that stupid. You know these things are not one hundred percent safe.”

“Shit. How is he?” Justin sucked on his lower lip.

“Scared out of his mind. He has no idea how to tell Ben.”

“Must be horrible.” Justin threw his arms around Brian. “We’re going to stop tricking. Now. I promise to live up to all your expectations so you won’t get bored, but no more other guys.”

Brian pushed him away to stare at him, wondering if Justin had lost his mind.

“ _Please_!” Justin was close to tears. “I just realized how dangerous this whole thing is. I mean, I knew it from the moment I entered the backroom for the first time. That was the moment I knew how dangerous it was, but I had lived in this bubble where I believed condoms were safe.”

Brian took Justin's face in his hands. “So you want monogamy?”

“I’ll learn how to do handstands so you can fuck me upside down if it convinces you how much I want us to stop tricking.”

Brian barked a loud laugh. “Don’t make promises you intend to break.”

Justin fought a smile. “You could teach me how to do the perfect handstand.”

“My days of handstanding are over.” Brian sucked his lips inside his mouth. “This also means you’ll visit more often. We’ll also need to revisit our old rules.”

“I’ve been meaning to tell you, but you kept distracting me yesterday. I’m tired of this life. Hell. This isn’t a life. We run to each other every other weekend while trying to survive without the other. So I’ve decided I’m coming back home.”

“The hell you are! You’re just making a name for yourself here,” Brian demanded.

“I don’t care. I can paint from Pittsburgh. Nothing you say will change my mind.” Justin kissed Brian's lips softly. “Now what were you saying about our rules?”

“Oh, right. That ass better be ready for my high libido.”

“I thought that was a given.” Justin kissed down Brian's throat.

“And because I’m thoughtful as fuck, I might allow you a treat every now and then.”

“What?” Justin pulled away, scowling. “Now I’ll be on a diet or something?”

“Kinney’s cock only,” Brian replied, not missing a beat. “Though, I was speaking of a different kind of treat.” When Justin kept watching him completely lost, Brian rolled his eyes. “My ass.”

“For real?” Justin actually squealed. “This better not be a joke.”

“Starting now.” Brian flopped down on the bed.

Justin dived for the nightstand to grab the lube and a condom.

“And one more – it’s more of a demand.” Brian rolled on his back to look into Justin's eyes.

“What’s that?” Justin was already set to work on loosening Brian's hole. It had been too long since he’d been allowed there.

Brian stalled his hand. “Marry me.”

Justin's eyes widened. He pulled his finger out of Brian's ass, sitting on his hunches. Then he started laughing so loudly the bed shook.

“This is the third time you’ve mocked my proposal.” Brian pursed his lips, narrowing his eyes.

“Can you blame me?” Justin wheezed out. “Only you’d ask me to marry you with my fingers up your ass. I knew you loved it, but not _that_ much.”

“You’re a twat. Well, they’re not there NOW.” Brian arched an eyebrow at him expectantly.

Justin covered Brian's body with his. “Yes. YES. This time we’ll allow Emmett to arrange the most beautiful wedding for us.”

“‘You’d better start planning.”

Justin kissed Brian hotly and wetly. “And I want to get tested when we get back home.”

Brian nodded. “Now… as I recall, you were doing something.”

.

.

.

Brian arrived first at the store on Monday morning. He sat in his car, smoking and drinking his coffee while waiting for Michael to show up. He’d already called Cynthia to let her know he might not make it to the office.

After staying with Michael for as long as he needed, Brian had to go back home and clean the stables of all the junk they had accumulated over the years. They had agreed for Justin to turn the stables into his studio, because horses were not something either of them wanted. So far, the stables had been the spot to deposit anything and everything they didn’t need or use.

Justin was due back by the end of the week, but he’d send his paintings sooner.

A knock on the passenger window startled Brian. He nearly spilled coffee on his new suit.

He looked out the window to see Michael waving at him. Brian joined him on the sidewalk, stopping a foot in front of his friend.

Michael’s wet eyes met his, and Brian pulled him into a tight hug. He held his friend close as he sobbed into his shoulder.

“Shh. I’m here, Mikey.” Brian carded his fingers through Michael’s hair.

Michael wiped at his eyes, fishing out the store’s keys. But his fingers were shaking too badly, so Brian helped him open.

“I’ll be right back,” Brian promised, returning to his car. He grabbed the second coffee cup, along with his half-drunk one, locked up, and returned to the store.

Michael was standing in the middle of the room, blowing his nose loudly. Brian kept the sign on the door to CLOSED, and advanced toward his best friend. He placed the coffees on the counter, then pulled Michael back into his arms.

“How’s Ben?”

Michael sniffed loudly. “He actually left for several hours after I told him. When he returned…he sat me at the table, then brought over all his meds. He told me what they do and yeah… _Yeah_.” Michael took a shaky breath. “We’re going to be okay. I’m okay as long as people don’t touch me. I might have been strong enough earlier if you hadn’t hugged me.”

“This is something you have to talk to people about. You can’t keep how you feel about it inside. Trust me.”

“Ben asked if I wanted to talk to a professional,” Michael mumbled. “He said he used to go to some kind of meeting like AA when he found out.”

“It might help,” Brian acknowledged. “I might still have Alex’s number if I search through my agenda.”

“Alex?”

“Dr. Alex Wilder. I used to see him after the bashing. He gave me advice on how to deal with Justin's moods when Jennifer decided I was more suitable to take care of him.”

“I had no idea.” Michael stared at him, surprised.

Brian shrugged. “I tried. God knows I failed, but I tried to make him feel safe and help him have a somewhat normal life again.”

“You helped him more than you think. We could see the little changes in Justin's behavior – every day.”

“So if you want a professional, I recommend Alex.”

“I’ll let you know.” Michael wiped his face, taking a few deep breaths. “Are you sure about coming with me to tell Ma? Ben said he wouldn’t mind.”

“We don’t want Debbie to start hating him again.”

“If she dares say something about this being inevitable for dating someone positive, then I never want to speak to her again. We discussed this possibility, but Ben thinks she’ll be supportive. After she faints and yells at me, that is.”

Brian cracked a smile, sipping from his coffee. His phone rang from his breast pocket. “Give me a second.”

Michael nodded, occupying himself with his morning routine as he opened the store.

“Kinney,” Brian answered to the unknown number, walking to the window.

“Good morning, Mr. Kinney! It’s Meredith from Life Clinic. We got your email requesting some bloodwork.”

“Right.” He’d emailed them at some point on Saturday after making certain Justin was sure about his decision.

“We can schedule you as soon as this Thursday if you’re available around eight in the morning.”

“Is it possible to schedule this for next week? It’s for two people. I think I mentioned that in the email,” Brian explained.

“Of course. Let me check the available hours.” He could hear her clicking away on her keyboard. “Tuesday at nine-thirty. Does that work for you?”

“It’s perfect. Thank you.”

“What tests do you need done?”

“The usual blood tests and the HIV one,” he explained in a quiet voice, hoping Michael wouldn’t hear him. “Both of us,” he added.

“Okay. Thank you, Mr. Kinney. If you don’t have any other questions for me now…”

“Not really. Thank you for your help.”

“No problem! Have a nice day, and see you next Tuesday!”

Brian turned around to find Michael staring at him with an unreadable expression. So he’d heard him.

“Didn’t you have your test done last month?”

Brian felt like a hypocrite telling Michael the reason behind his decision to get tested again so soon.

“We’ve decided to try monogamy,” he said casually.

Michael stared at him unblinkingly.

“Justin’s coming back. I guess telling him you’re positive scared him so much he decided we should stop tricking.”

“And you?”

“Me, what?” Brian threw himself on the sofa in the corner.

“How do you feel about giving up tricking? I know you’d do it for him, but I never thought you’d stop.”

“I haven’t had anyone else in a while. My visits at Babylon are usually business lately.” Brian finished his coffee in one long gulp. “I think the last time I took someone to the backroom was back in January.”

“That’s, like, three months ago!”

Brian shrugged. “I think Justin’s tricked more than me with his fancy life in New York. We never talk about it, but I know he does it.”

“And you’re okay with it.”

“It’s part of our relationship, Mikey. We’ve always done it. What we have is solid enough to know we’d always return to each other, no matter what faceless guy we’d fucked the night before.”

“I’ll never understand the appeal in that.” Michael sat next to him. “I can’t wait to talk to you in a few months and hear how monogamy has driven you up the wall.” He chuckled.

“Justin promised to keep it spiced up. He said he’d learn to do handstands so I could fuck him upside down.” Brian tried to keep a straight face as he spoke.

Michael doubled over in laughter. “Thanks. I needed a good laugh.”

“Are you going to be okay? I have to go clean the stables to make room for Justin's paintings. I’ll pick you up around five and take you to see Debbie.”

“Okay. I’ll be fine. I have to restock.”

“Good.” Brian kissed Michael’s brow before leaving.

.

.

.

Brian was in the middle of cleaning the stables when his phone buzzed in his back pocket. Wiping his hands on the thighs of his already dirty jeans, he accepted the call.

“Hey, boo!” Justin greeted him cheerfully.

“I’m five seconds away from hanging up,” Brian muttered.

“No, no! Listen, I ran into an old friend from one of Simon’s parties. He gave me the name of a new gallery downtown, AvantGuArt.”

Brian stopped in the middle of the almost empty stables. He felt hollow. “So you’re staying?”

Justin snorted loudly. “No, Einstein! The gallery is in Pittsburgh!”

“What the hell is it with you and the name-calling today?”

“Dunno. I guess I’m just _so_ happy!” And it was clear from his voice how happy he was. “So I want you to dig around about this gallery and see if it’s good.”

“What did you say the name was?” Brian leaned against an old table stored in there.

“AvantGuArt. A-V-A-N-T-G-U-A-R-T. Heard of it?”

“Sounds fancy. No, I’ve never heard of it, but then again I don’t hobnob with the art world snobs.”

“Well, you’re gonna be up to date with the art world snobs in The Pitts soon enough,” Justin joked. “I’ve packed everything. I’m going to call UPS later. The lady on the phone told me the shipping could take up to three days. So, I might arrive at the same time as my paintings.”

Brian smiled despite himself. “I’ve scheduled a date with the doctor for Tuesday.”

“Whoa. You moved fast. Thank you.”

“No problem. I have to finish cleaning all the crap in the stables and then take Mikey to Debbie’s.”

“Oh, I thought you were at work.”

“Not today. Kinnetik can survive without me for a few days. Can’t say the same about Babylon. I’ll have to drop by after dinner to make sure everything is in order.”

“I didn't know,” Justin mumbled.

“Yeah, well… Ever since Travis left and I had to find a new manager, things have been going downhill. Mark is much better organized, which is good, but he doesn’t get along at all with the others. And after Travis left, my event organizer left last month,” Brian explained.

“Why the hell didn’t you say anything?”

“Because it’s my business to worry about. You had that big show. I didn’t need to burden you with my troubles. Anyway, Emmett gave me a few names, but I never got around to calling them.”

“Okay. I’m going to help you when I get back. I don’t want to hear protests,” Justin demanded. “I’ll let you go now.”

“Later, twat.”

It felt like he’d just hung up with Justin when his phone rang again. This time it was Michael.

“Are you still coming?”

“I promised, didn’t I?” Brian grunted. He’d been in the middle of pushing a large cupboard.

Most of the furniture that came with the house had been restored and they kept it, but some was damaged or they simply didn’t like it. Instead of discarding it, they’d stored it away like some hoarders. This particular cupboard was in good condition, but it fucked with the aesthetics of the sitting room, so Justin wanted it gone. Now he might use it to store his paint supplies in it.

“Well, it’s ten minutes after five,” Michael said in a slow voice.

“It is?” Brian wiped his brow. “Fuck. Go home, and I’ll come pick you up.”

“If you’re busy, I can do it on my own.”

“No, you can’t. I’ll be there in fifty minutes; one hour tops.”

“Okay. Don’t drive too fast,” Michael warned him before hanging up.

Brian sprinted to take a shower and get dressed before pushing the speed limit to get to Michael’s house.

At the front door he was greeted by Ben, who looked like he’d just gotten home, too.

“Brian?” Ben asked, confused, as he took his jacket off.

“Hello, Professor! I’m here for the little wife.”

“Michael’s not home.”

“Hey!” Michael joined them in the hallway. “I think I’ve aged while waiting for you.”

“Don’t be a twat,” Brian muttered. “There’s only room for one twat in my life.”

Michael laughed loudly. Ben stared at them confused. “What’s going on?”

“I’m taking Brian with me to tell Ma.” Michael wrapped his arms around Ben. “It will be fine.” He kissed him softly. “See you later.”

“Don’t stay too late; we have to see the doctor tomorrow,” Ben warned him. “Thank you,” he added to Brian.

Brian shrugged, clicking his tongue. “Later, Ben.”

In the car, Michael fucked with the radio, testing Brian's nerves.

“So… the doctor’s tomorrow?” Brian finally said after a long silence.

“Yeah, we’re going to see what treatment they give me. Ben looked over my tests and he said they’re not totally fucked up. But you know how this thing is.”

Brian cleared his throat, keeping his eyes on the road. “How are the T cells?”

“Around four hundred.”

“That’s optimistic.”

“Exactly. I barely listened to the doctor after she told me I had it. I couldn’t focus on anything.” Michael shook his head.

“It’s understandable, Mikey. I’m glad you have Ben, and he’s going to help you.”

“And I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

Brian glanced at him, meeting Michael's misty gaze. He reached over and took his hand. “I’ll always be here.”

They parked in front of Michael's childhood house.

“Don’t chicken out now,” Brian threatened lightly.

They rang the doorbell with Brian's arm around Michael’s shoulders. When Debbie opened the door, she took a step back, staring at them as if seeing a ghost.

“Oh, no!” She gasped.

“Ma?” Michael went to her side.

Debbie was paler than Brian had seen her in years. “Deb?” He shut the door behind him, helping her to the couch. “Hey, Carl.” He nodded at the man in the armchair.

“Carl, honey, my nightmares are coming true,” Deb whispered.

Michael met Brian's eyes, then focused on his mother. “What are you talking about?”

“I had a bad dream the other night. You were on my doorstep with Brian, looking solemn. You said you have news and I should sit down and keep an open mind.”

“Whoa!” Brian sat on the coffee table. “Since when are you a psychic, Debbie?”

She looked frightened. “So, just tell me. Is it Ben? Is there something…”

Michael gulped loudly. He took her hands in his. “It’s me,” he whispered. He stared at their hands, not ready to meet her eyes. “I don’t know how it happened, but…” He finally looked up to see Debbie paling further. “I’ve got it, Ma.”

Brian was there to cushion her fall when she fainted. “That went well,” he muttered.

Carl brought over a glass of water and a wet towel. While he worked on bringing Debbie to her senses, Brian caught Michael's eyes. He was scared out of his mind over the outcome.

Debbie slowly blinked awake, then focused on her son. She pushed Carl and Brian away, wrapping her arms around Michael and crying in his shoulder. She was whispering to him, but Brian couldn’t hear what, though; however, judging by Michael's wet face, she was being supportive.

Brian noticed how quiet Carl was, just sitting on the edge of the couch, staring sadly at the scene in front of him.

“He’s a fighter,” Brian said quietly. “You have to keep Deb sane, though.”

“That’s what I was thinking, actually.”

Brian was surprised to be pulled into Debbie’s arms. “Thank you, Kiddo,” she whispered.

“What for?”

“You’ve always been there for my son.”

“And always will be,” Brian promised.

After wiping her tears, Debbie demanded that both Michael and Ben come for dinner the next day. “And you could join us, too. You’re too damn skinny,” she muttered at Brian.

“Hey, I’m eating. You make sure to keep my fridge fully stocked,” he joked. “But don’t worry. I won’t need your services soon enough.”

“Did you find some kept boy to cook for you?” She frowned.

“If that’s what you want to call Justin…”

“Oh, is Sunshine coming back home?” She exclaimed.

“Yes. We’ve decided the long distance relationship wasn’t for us, so we’re trying the more stable one starting this weekend.”

“Very stable,” Michael quipped.

Brian shot him a warning look. But Debbie caught on it, and raised a brow.

“We’ve decided to stop tricking. Michael’s news scared Justin, and frankly, it scares me, too.”

“About time you decided to give that poor kid what he deserves,” Debbie chided him lightly.

.

.

.

Friday found Brian tired and ready to have Justin back where he belonged – in their house.

His paintings had arrived the previous day and were stacked in the now-cleaned stables. All the clutter was gone, shipped away with the garbage truck early Wednesday morning.

For the past week, Brian had divided his time between Kinnetik, cleaning the stables, rearranging his clothes so Justin would have space in the walk-in closet, and Babylon. He had found the time to contact a few of the guys Emmett had recommended and only one stood out.

The man was going to meet with Brian at ten on Friday so they could talk some more about what he needed.

At five till ten, Cynthia let Brian know there was someone there to see him. Brian already liked this guy for being on time.

Derek Lamaro was nothing like Brian had pictured him. He was an average guy, in his forties, with tight dreads in his head. Brian thought they were called dreads.

“Hello, Derek!” Brian extended his hand, joining him in the middle of the office.

“Hello, Mr. Kinney! Thank you for calling and giving me this opportunity.”

“I usually trust Emmett’s word,” Brian explained. He’d mentioned over the phone that he had heard of Derek through Emmett.

“He’s an inspiration in the event-planning world.”

“Tell me about your background,” Brian said, heading back to his desk.

Derek sat across from him, talking about his experience. Brian explained to him that what he wanted was actually simple: all his weekly events had to meet his expectations. There would be several special theme nights, but those would be rare and on specific days, like Halloween, Christmas, Pride, and so on. The other themes usually stayed and kept rotating. Derek was eager to prove he could handle the challenge.

After work, Brian met with Michael at Woody’s.

“You look like shit,” Michael said in greeting.

“I’m ready to sleep for a year when I get home. But that won’t happen. I’ll have to go get Justin from the airport at nine.”

“Well, at least you’ll have him back.”

“I’m still not sure if I’m happy he threw away his career to be with me… But we’ve both grown tired of flying around so often.”

Michael sipped from his juice. “I started the treatment this morning. I had to wait a couple of days to find one of the drugs. They’re giving me different drugs than Ben takes.”

“It makes sense. It’s new and not that aggressive,” Brian acknowledged. “How are you feeling?”

Michael cringed. “Like I’m going to punch Ben. He stopped touching me after I told him last week. I mean, at first, sex was the last thing on my mind. But in the past few days, after seeing the doctor and talking to Ma… I guess, I relaxed enough to try to continue living my life.”

“Whoa! You mean, you haven’t fucked since last Friday?”

“It was last Monday. We’ve been busy. On Tuesday I had my tests done. Then on Friday I got the result. But in between, he’s been busy with classes and tutoring, and I started restocking everything to see what’s missing. So, we were both tired when we got home.”

Brian shuddered. “Can’t say I don’t understand. This past week has been a test for my nerves. I kept my promise to Justin not to fuck around anymore. I chose the worst moment of my life to make such a promise.”

“Oh, come on. You’ll see that monogamy is not that bad.”

“You just said that a silly fight could lead to no release for two weeks! Knowing us, we’ll die of sexual frustration within the month.”

Michael laughed loudly. “I expect sex tonight after the fight I had with Ben this morning. We don’t fight. Not often, but this morning I just couldn’t stop myself from screaming at him.” Michael sucked from his straw. “I even said the most horrible thing: what else could you give me now?”

“Jesus, Mikey.”

“Yeah. So to show him I regretted the words, I might have mentioned dropping the condoms.”

Brian choked on his gulp of beer. He thumped his chest, blinking through the sudden tears in his eyes. Michael reached over to pat his back, watching him with concern.

“You’re joking,” Brian managed once he could breathe right.

“That wasn’t an option before. Now… well, it’s not like anything else could happen. I’m curious,” Michael explained.

Brian chugged down his beer, slamming the bottle to the table. “I know you don’t have our life, and now that might be an option due to this tragic outcome, but if you mention it to Justin, I’m going to strangle you. I bet he’ll start hinting at this in a few months' time.”

“And what’s so bad about that? You’ll be exclusive. If your tests are clear, I don’t see why not.”

“You think I don’t want to feel that tight, hot ass around my bare dick? I’ve fucking fantasized about it more times than I can count! And I don’t do fantasies. But fucking raw is not an option.”

“Discuss it with the doctor when you get the results. I’m sure…” Michael stopped talking when Brian glared at him. “You’ll do it if Justin begs you,” he said after a while.

“That scares me,” Brian admitted.

After a few more beers, Brian went home. He had enough time to shower and head for the airport.

When he stepped inside the house, he froze with his hand on the handle. There was light and music from the kitchen. And it smelled divine.

Unsure why a burglar would cook while listening to Madonna, Brian walked slowly toward the kitchen. He stopped in the doorway to stare at Justin shaking his ass while working two pots on the stove.

“You’re here,” Brian said in disbelief.

“My wayward fiance is home!” Justin danced over to him, looping his arms around his neck. Justin kissed him slowly before returning to the stove.

Brian blinked several times. “This must be an illusion. Your plane was at nine. It’s not even eight.”

“Yeah, I caught an earlier flight.” Justin shrugged. “I decided to cook while waiting for you. Where have you been, anyway?”

“With Mikey.” Brian finally decided to embrace the reality. He didn’t have to leave the house anymore. Justin was there.

He went to the fridge, grabbing a bottle of beer and popping it open. He leaned against the sink, watching as Justin cooked, humming along with the songs from his phone.

Justin kept meeting his eyes from time to time, smiling widely.

When Brian opened himself a second beer, Justin announced dinner was ready. With six beers on board, he decided he was buzzed enough to have that conversation with Justin.

Brian stopped Justin from plating the food, grabbing his right wrist, turning him and embracing him.

“If we’re clean, do you want to lose the condoms?”

Justin's head snapped up so fast, Brian was afraid it would fall from his shoulders. Then Justin reached a hand to touch Brian's forehead. Brian scoffed, slapping his hand away.

“I don’t know,” Justin finally said. “Do you?”

“Not any time soon.”

Justin returned to plating their dinner.

As they sat at the table, Justin cleared his throat. “I’m glad you broached the subject. If it was me, I’d probably be six feet under in the backyard.”

Brian laughed, kicking him under the table. “Why would I kill my favorite blond boy ass?”

“I missed you. It will take a while to get used to waking up in your arms every morning,” Justin whispered, smiling brightly.

“Looking forward to it.”

.

.

.

Tuesday after the doctor visit, Justin accompanied Brian to Kinnetik.

“Would you stop bitching if we stop to get you a coffee?” Brian muttered.

“But I hate needles,” Justin whined. “I already have a bruise. Why didn’t we go to the usual doctor?”

“I wanted to see how these guys worked,” Brian explained, knowing Justin would want a better answer.

“Why?” he pressed.

“We were commissioned to promote them. I decided having tests at their clinic would give me a little insight.”

“Well, they’re shit. At least, that nurse is shit.” Justin huffed.

“Don’t worry. It will go away. And we’re not going back after we get the results.”

“I hope so. If I wasn’t in so much pain, I’d suggest we go to our doctor, but I hope they don’t fuck up the tests.”

“If you want, we can go to our doctor, too.” Brian parked in the alley leading to Kinnetik.

“Nah. I’ll go grab two coffees.” Justin disappeared around the corner.

Brian went into his office, seeing it already occupied by Emmett. “Were you scheduled?”

Emmett got up from the sofa, stomping to Brian's side. “I thought friends didn’t have to schedule visits! I thought friends told each other everything!”

“What’s going on?” Brian frowned. He had no idea what had upset Emmett’s sensibilities.

“You and Michael kept a big secret from us!”

“That’s Michael’s secret,” Brian explained quietly.

“He kept declining the beer I got him last night at Woody’s. Eventually, Ben told us. Michael said you were the only one who knew.”

Brian slumped in his seat. “Justin, Debbie and Carl knew as well. But, I bet Theodore would be the first to know if it happened to _you_. And you wouldn’t run to anyone else to break the news. Just think about it for a second before you act like a hurt queen!”

Emmett opened his mouth, but closed it, dropping his head. “You’re right.”

“I usually am.”

“So where were you last night? And this weekend? We missed you at Babylon.”

“Busy, busy.” Brian grinned, revisiting the memories of having Justin back in their house.

“They were out of soy milk. I hope almond milk is okay,” Justin said as he walked into the office, holding two tall coffees. “Emmett!” He squealed, nearly dropping the cups.

Brian rescued the coffees, allowing Justin to hug their friend.

“What are you doing here, baby? Visiting?” Emmett squeezed Justin tightly.

“You didn’t tell him?” Justin turned to Brian, shocked.

“There was no time.”

“I came back,” Justin told Emmett.

“Oh, so that’s where you’ve been this weekend.” Emmett smirked.

“If you mean, up Justin's ass, sure.” Brian laughed. “Anything else I can help you with?” He raised an eyebrow, clearly communicating his dismissal.

“No. Really, I’m sorry for jumping to conclusions…” Emmett mumbled. “See you later! It’s great to have you back, Justin!”

“What was that?” Justin frowned as he watched Emmett’s retreating body. He walked around Brian's desk, sitting on his lap.

“He thought I was an asshole for keeping Michael’s secret, but I made him realize that if he were in Mikey’s shoes, he’d have kept it a secret, too. For a while, at least.”

“How did he find out?”

“Ben and Mikey told him and Ted last night at Woody’s.” Brian wrapped his arms around Justin's waist. “So, I did some research on AvantGuArt.”

Justin's eyes lit up. “Is it worth it?”

“It’s exactly what you need. Let me show you.”

.

.

.

That evening found them in Babylon. While Brian had a chat with his new event planning man, Derek, and his manager, admiring what they’d done over the weekend and telling them to keep up the great work, Justin was at the bar. Brian had left him talking to the bartender, and found him sharing drinks with Emmett.

Brian lifted a finger to his bartender, communicating without words that he wanted one whiskey. Then he leaned next to Justin.

“Done?” Justin checked, grinning his way.

“Yup.” Brian pressed his lips to Justin's ear. “Wanna see the backroom?”

Justin glanced at him, smirking. Then he took his hand, leaving a stunned Emmett in their wake. They weren’t headed to the backroom, but to the dance floor.

“Way to get a guy’s hopes up,” Brian complained.

Justin spun around, looping his arms around Brian's neck. “I missed dancing with you. We can always go to the backroom later.”

Many songs later when they were sweaty and horny, Brian dragged Justin to the depths of the backroom. He pushed Justin against a wall, undoing his pants while kissing him with ardor.

“Did you miss this, too?” Brian asked in a rough voice, dripping with desire.

“More than I thought possible,” Justin admitted. “But I don’t want to fuck here. Let me blow you.”

Brian wasn’t listening. He turned Justin around, kneeling to have better access to that ass. He hadn’t eaten Justin’s ass, or any ass for that matter, in public.

“Whoa!” Justin groaned loudly.

Brian kept his focus on the man in his arms, and only looked around when he was buried deep inside Justin's ass. They had an audience, as always. He didn’t care what they’d say about him.

Brian kept a hand on Justin's shoulder and one on his thigh, moving faster and faster, making sure to nail Justin's prostate every other thrust. When Justin threw his head back, narrowly missing smashing Brian's nose, Brian knew he was close. So he doubled the effort, making them both find completion.

“That made it into the Top Three of our backroom fucks,” Justin said slightly out of breath. “I’d say Number Two,” he said as an afterthought.

“Which one is Number One?” Brian tucked himself back in his pants after depositing the condom in the nearest trash can.

“The first time you brought me here.” Justin turned to face Brian, his blue eyes shining in the dimly lit room. “I almost creamed myself at the sights and the sounds. It was like watching live porn.”

“That’s not far from the truth.” Brian laughed.

They left the club with their arms wrapped around each other. Brian lit up a smoke, sharing it with Justin on the way to the car.

“When are you going to the gallery?” Brian asked.

“Maybe next week. I want to unpack everything and sort through my paintings. I want to take pictures and make a portfolio to show them.”

“I’ll bring a camera from work to make sure you get good photos.”

“Oh, thank you! I was thinking of doing them with my phone.” Justin shrugged.

“Don’t be a twat. I have a pro camera around in my office somewhere.”

“That you need to promote and want to test it?” Justin joked.

“It was left as a sample when I did an ad for it last year. It’s good as new. I only used it for a few frames to see what it could do.”

“Neat. I’ll be busy unpacking tomorrow anyway. So don’t hurry.”

.

.

.

By Friday, they had found their footing about living together again. While Brian was at work, Justin sorted through the pictures of his paintings using the studio at Kinnetik to print the photos.

Brian returned to his office after yet another meeting with the Art Department regarding a new account. He was ready to call it a day whenever Justin resurfaced from printing his photos.

His phone disturbed him from trying to wrap up for the day.

“Kinney,” he answered, distracted. He had twenty new emails. He’d been gone a total of thirty minutes.

“Hello, Mr. Kinney. It’s Meredith from Life Clinic. We have your results.”

“Oh. Should we come over, or can you email them?”

“Dr. Sanders would like to see your partner regarding his results.”

Brian froze. He couldn’t locate his lungs for a moment. “Uh, is there something wrong?” He wanted to kick himself. Of course, there was something wrong if the fucking doctor wanted to see Justin.

“That information will be between the doctor and your partner. I’m sorry.”

“When do we have to come over?”

“If you can be here before four today, it will work. Otherwise, on Monday,” she explained.

“We’ll be there today,” Brian said, hanging up.

It was time to interrupt Justin's playing with his toys. Brian brushed over at least five people from his team trying to intercept him and ask questions.

He went into the studio, closing the lid of Justin's laptop. “Let’s go.”

“What? I was in the middle of—”

“Now.” Brian wheeled him to the car.

“What the hell? Why are you acting like this?” Justin tried to pull free.

Outside the company, Brian turned to face Justin. “Because our results came in. And the doctor wants to see us,” he said quietly.

“Shit.” Justin’s eyes widened in fear.

Brian was glad he’d decided to say _us_ instead of _you_ , because Justin was already freaking out enough.

On the way to the clinic, Justin gnawed at his bottom lip.

When they arrived, Brian took Justin's hand. “It will be okay.”

The lady at the front desk directed them to Dr. Sanders’s office on the third floor. Another girl greeted them there. Brian recognized her as Meredith from their previous visit.

“Good evening.” She smiled in greeting. “Let me inform Dr. Sanders you’ve arrived.”

Brian squeezed Justin's hand, thinking that whatever the doctor told them, they’d make it.

Meredith returned. “Dr. Sanders wishes to see you, Mr. Taylor. Only Mr. Taylor,” she clarified when Brian made to follow him.

Justin paled, searching Brian's eyes, and Brian knew he couldn’t leave him alone. He led the way into the doctor’s office, ignoring Meredith’s protests.

“Hello, Doctor. I’m staying,” Brian declared, not leaving any room for arguments.

“Good evening. Well, if that is agreeable with Mr. Taylor...?” Receiving a silent nod in return, he held his hand out. “All right, then. Please take a seat.”

Brian pushed Justin to sit, while he stood behind him with his hands on his shoulders.

“I see you’re both tense and worried, so I’ll cut to the chase. I’ll start with you, Mr. Kinney. Your tests are clean, except for a slight low red cell count. I’d want to do some further tests in that matter.”

Brian cringed. He’d had his last test to ensure the cancer wasn’t back several months ago and his doctor had said the same thing. “I know. It’s nothing to worry about. I have it under observation with my oncologist,” he explained.

“Hmm...I see. Well, I will have my assistant follow up for a copy of his patient notes, then.”

Brian nodded as he explained, “I’ve been cancer-free for almost four years now.” He took a deep breath, his shoulders tense. “Now, tell us about Justin’s results.”

“We’d like some further tests run on him as well, but everything points in the direction of chlamydia.”

Brian snorted, earning a confused look from the doctor. Justin stiffened.

“But I feel fine,” Justin whispered.

“Most people don’t experience the symptoms. So after confirming the STD, we’ll start your treatment. We also recommend having the same tests run on you, Mr. Kinney. It didn’t show up in the urine sample, but we’d like to be sure.”

“Oh, God.” Justin dropped his head in his hands.

“Oh, lighten up, Sunshine. I’m not the only one bringing gifts home, apparently.”

“Shut up,” Justin groaned, blushing furiously.

After another piss in a cup and dick swabbing, they left. The doctor promised to call them with the results at the beginning of next week.

Brian drove them back to Kinnetik because the emails left unanswered were at the forefront of his mind, and Justin still had to work on his photos.

“Aren’t you going to say anything? Are you upset?” Justin asked when they parked in front of Kinnetik.

“Why should I be? You probably got it before we decided to stop tricking.”

“And I haven’t felt any symptoms. Maybe the doctor is wrong.”

“Stop worrying. They’ll pump you full of antibiotics and you’ll be good as new in about a week.”

Justin got out of the car, mumbling under his breath.

“What was that?” Brian joined him at the front of the car.

“I’m allergic to many antibiotics.”

Brian winced, wrapping an arm around Justin's shoulders. “I bet they’ll find one you can take.”

.

.

.

Because Justin was a twat, he denied Brian any kind of sex over the weekend. Brian hoped the results would be in on Monday, or he’d explode. Having Justin so close, wearing so little due to the hot weather and sharing a bed, was pure torture.

Of course, the doctors were monsters. They called on Wednesday with the results. Brian couldn’t leave – he was swamped all day with meetings due to his overlapping dates. Cynthia had barely managed to clear his schedule enough so he’d have a short lunch break.

When he arrived at the diner a few minutes before six, he found Justin sharing a booth with Michael and Ben. He also noticed another plate next to Justin.

“Is this seat taken?” Brian asked, already sitting next to him.

“You can do better than lame pick-up lines,” Michael teased.

“But he got ME with a lame pick-up line,” Justin joked, resting his head on Brian's shoulder. “That’s for you. I knew you’d be hungry.”

“Oh. Thanks.” Brian kissed the top of Justin's head. “So… everything okay?”

“You’re clean. I had to spend an hour to go through all the antibiotics available and their base substance to be able to try one. Dr. Sanders kept me under observation for another hour, then I was good to go home. She said I could have the shots done anywhere.”

“See? I told you it was going to be okay.”

“Do you know which guy gave it to you?” Michael asked.

Brian was surprised he knew what they were talking about, but he figured Justin had told them before he arrived.

“How should I know who it was?” Justin muttered. “In between the last time I’d seen Brian and his last visit, I’d had at least ten guys at the club I used to go to.”

Brian shot Michael a pointed look to make sure he wouldn’t say Brian hadn’t slept around since January. Which was a lie. He’d had the odd fuck, but not at the rate he used to. For him, it was as if he’d stopped tricking altogether.

“So, the doctor said no to sex until I’m all clear. All types of sex.” Justin met Brian's eyes, worrying his lips.

“I see our deal going downhill. Fast.”

“Relationships are all about sacrifice and compromise,” Ben said quietly.

Brian scowled. “Whatever. We’ll survive.”

“It won’t be the first time we haven’t fucked for a week or so. There were times we haven’t fucked for months,” Justin pointed out.

“Yeah, I was sick back then. And I remember encouraging you to go out and find someone.”

“It’s always about sex,” Justin retorted. “We’ll have fun without getting naked.”

“What sort of lousy job did I do raising you, Sunshine? What happened to my little sex-driven homo?”

Michael snorted into his food, and even Ben chuckled.

“Think about how much more intense it will feel after a little abstinence,” Justin added.

“Thanks for painting that visual. Now I’ve got to run to the little boys’ room and jack off.”

Justin held onto his elbow. “I mean it. Ben’s right. This is what a mature relationship is all about. It’s our first test.”

Brian sighed loudly. He turned to glare at Michael who kept chuckling. “When’s the last time you haven’t gotten any in a week?”

“Last week,” he answered without missing a beat.

“But we rectified that,” Ben answered with a smile directed at Michael.

“Maybe it’s not the best time to tell them about the hot sex we had, babe,” Michael warned.

Justin took Brian's hand under the table, reaching up to kiss him slowly. “I promise to apologize profoundly for this inconvenience. With my tongue. In your ass.”

Brian pulled away, clearing his throat. “Starting now. Five feet apart all the time until you’re better.”

“What about when we sleep.”

“I’ll take the guest bedroom,” Brian said seriously.

**Author's Note:**

> Stay tuned for another one-shot in the making. (It's gonna be a loooong one)


End file.
